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Want to build a team that's so invincible that they'll have to tie each man up, blindfold them and send along a team of super aliens from Mars to beat 'em? Well I'm not really sure you'll be able to do it here.

I'm sure you all know the rules of Football so there's no need to run through them all... Oh but hang on this is five a side so the rules are slightly different. For a start there's no shooting inside your own half, no balls over head height and no shooting inside the opposition's penalty area. You can also bounce the ball off the edge of the playing area, to your advantage or disadvantage.

Most football games which have appeared recently have been viewed from above but Five a Side reverts to the side on view point (which is no bad thing). Another instant difference is that there is no half way line, just a centre circle. In fact there are very few markings on this pitch. Interestingly there are also rather a lot of advertisement hoardings on the far side of the pitch, promoting, strangely enough, Zeppelin Games titles such as Round The Bend and Tag Team Wrestling.

There are a wealth of options to fiddle around with in Five a Side, you can play either an international league game, choosing from eight countries, or just a friendly game against the computer. There's also the now compulsory two player option (which I will mention later).

The players are not particularly well drawn but then they hardly need to be. The scrolling is generally smooth and pretty fast but it can get a little jerky in two player mode. Although the action is viewed from the side the goals are placed at a slight angle which makes shooting much easier.

There isn't much in the way of sound effects, just the odd thump of the ball and no crowd effects, but then again there's no crowd! Although the graphics aren't particularly colourful there is an option to change both the colour of the pitch and the players, in a similar fashion to Audiogenic's World Class Rugby - though this is where the similarity ends.

Oddly enough Five A Side is far better in one player mode than in two. But that's due entirely to the fact that everything slows down when two people play. Also you can only use one Sinclair joystick, thus the second player has to use the keyboard or a Kempston 'stick, not very satisfactory if you ask me. Although the action is fast and at first enjoyable, more play reveals serious gameplay flaws.

As in all good footie games you can pass the ball to your team mate but here he just stands still (or awkwardly runs off in a completely different direction) until you bring him under joystick control and this can take vital seconds. Also, maybe it's the quality of their coaching, or maybe they do a lot more weight training than our team but the opposition have a tendency to steal the ball very easily and hold onto it very tenaciously. Another strange thing is that every now and then an opposition player will have a kickabout with your goalie, tapping it to him twice and then, after the second tap he moves to a different position and stuffs the ball into the back of the net. and there's very little you can do about it.

All things considered I think it's fair to say that this title had more potential than is exploited here. Unless you want to become as raving mad as Big 'Al I would leave this game firmly on the shelf.

Label: Zeppelin Games Memory: 48K/128K Price: £3.99 Tape Reviewer: Paul Rand

Okay so the graphics aren't too hot but with a wealth of options and what seemed like a good, playable formula it couldn't be too bad. Herein lies the sting in Five A Sides tail. It isn't a good, playable footy game. It is bad.