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"Oooooooh! It's greeeet! I know it, I know it! ... No, it's gone. You're me mate, you are. Eeeeeeh!" The unmistakable tones of your own Emlyn Hughes, sportsman, comedian, popular TV personality and all round rectum pain has been given his own game. Oh dear...

Take a look around these two pages and match the screenshots to the next statement. Emlyn Hughes International Soccer is the best ever C64 arcade football, even better than the fab Microsoccer. The graphics are terrible, you may say. No they're not. The still graphics are less than wonderful, I know, but the animated graphics are unbelievable. The movement is just so smooth and fluid, it has to be seen to be believed. Though blocky, the graphics are amazingly clear, and at no time is there any doubt as to what a player is doing or in which direction he's going.

The best way I can describe EHIS is to say Audiogenic has taken the style of graphics from International Soccer, made them much better, added myriads of extra frames of animation and new moves, blended in the legaue and cup bits from Match Day II, put in a spot of Tracksuit Manager options here and there, and come up with quite an amazing product.

The first thing I will praise about this game is its amazing ease of use. Between matches, you are presented with a large blank 'workspace' and a bar at the top of the screen. This is where all the work is done as far as setting up matches and basic game options is concerned.

Move a pointer to the bar, and four pull-down menu titles appear. Move the pointer over one of the titles and press fire. The menu then appears, and what a menu. On each of the four is a choice of at least fifteen options. That's over 60 options in total, allowing you to change team names, players names and statistics (speed, attacking strength, defensive qualities), team colours, allow you to start a league or a cup tournament between eight teams, any or all of which can be under human control. On top of that you can choose to just save out a team of two, or save out all the game options, including team colours, current cup league status. In short, everything.

You get out onto the pitch after all the decision-making, and your team runs out on pitch, alongside the opposition. Here is where the game gets special. As I've already stated, the graphics are amazing. Large and beautifully animated. The diving headers are terrific, and the goalkeeper diving and catching the ball is enough to have you on the edge of your seat.

The sound is pretty ace too. A quiet crowd rumble goes on continously in the background, building every time something important happens, like you take a shot at goal and miss. Persons with klaxons honk out the familiar "Honk-honk, honk-honk,honk, honk-honk,honk-honk etc" as well as realistic ball-bouncy sounds and an interesting clank when the ball hits the crossbar.

Now I get to the best bit of all: the gameplay. On the options screen you can choose how advanced you want to play the game, and the later levels, though hard to get into at first, are well worth getting the hang of. At the very basic level, the game plays much along the same way as International Soccer. As you progress, the game becomes far more realistic.

You can choose how many directions you are able to kick in at the start. One way means that you shoot in the direction you're facing. Three way means that if you hold down fire and then push left or right, you can shoot 45 degrees to the left or right of the direction you're facing. Five way gives you the choice of 70 and 20 shots in either direction. On top of that there are 28 strengths of shot, and three heights you can shoot at - ground, normal and lob.

As normal, the man currently under control is a different colour to the rest of the team, and the computer automatically chooses the best one for you. This doesn't mean that all the other players are aimlessly milling about, however. All the players are given a little bit of intelligence. If the ball is rolling past them, they'll do a sliding tackle for it. If the ball is going over, they'll jump for it etc. All this leads to a pretty exciting game.

A great deal of character has gone into the production of EHIS. For a start at various points of the game, different characters will do different things. The goalkeeper, for example, stands in the goalmouth, head bobbing, watching the ball, jumping and saving at the appropriate moment. Should the ball go over the crossbar, his arms will drop to his side and he'll turn and stare stupidly at the ball as it sails over his head. If he saves the ball, then he does the usual three step run up and boots the ball into the other half of the pitch. Should you score, your little man runs away from the goal, arms in the air, and then acknowledges the roar of the crowd with a fist in the air.

What other innovations has Audiogenic come up with? For a start, the game is two player. That's nothing you might as well whinge, but two players on the same team against the computer? That's a new one on me.

Two player one team is a great laugh, especially if you are playing with an experienced and talented professional like Garry Williams. You can have endless fun passing to each other, messing it up, and calling each other names for the rest of the match. When two players on the same team are on screen, one is decked out in a trendy red jumper, whilst the other either has gone for the skin colour top or simply has just gone topless.

Unfortunately, this game came too late to be included in the league of football games in this month's football feature. Just as point of information, the points I would have awareded it are: Graphics 10, Sound 8, Playability 9, Value For Money 9, Fun 9, Total 46. A clear winner.

Forget the sweaters. Forget the squeaky voice and cuddly personality and think about the game.