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Yes, that buxom hell-vixen of 'Heavy Metal Heaven' is here again. Those who saw Elvira presenting the late night heavy rock show will remember her as that spaced-out witch of widely talked about proportions...

The action starts off in Elvira's spooky house, called 'Large Assets' (haw, haw), where she is awakened from a drunken dream by the ghost of her lost ancestor, King Gustav of Transylvania. She accepts his challenge in the hope of winning the castle and becoming Queen of Transylvania.

To succeed, Elvira must conquer two of the King's old kingdoms, the 'Underworld of Fire' and 'Arctic Earth', both of which turn out to be standard arcade adventures. Elvira jumps and shoots her way through them with the multi-directionally scrolling screen revealing various platforms, fire pits, monsters and so on. In fact it's a bit like Turrican in a dress!

After keying in your security code, the game begins with a series of very nicely drawn intro screens, all accompanied by spooky tunes to prepare us for some rip-roaring action. Unfortunately there's a drastic drop in quality when the game begins. The first thing you notice is the central sprite doesn't exactly live up to the Elvira name, depicted in crude jagged graphics.

Apart from the usual jumping around platforms and over holes, collecting keys and food, and so forth, there isn't a lot going on. The evil creatures don't exactly attack with venom. Many are static, but walking ones can sometimes be a problem simply because of your low fire rate.

Other features include collecting spells and weapons such as fireballs, teleport, lightning etc, with which Elvira can despatch more fearsome enemies. Also, she bumps into a spell trader every now and then with whom vital magics can be exchanged.

Such features add some minimal strategy, which is the only saving grace of the game. It'll take you quite a while to 'battle' through the 300 screens. But I doubt you'll want to. The gameplay is staggeringly stow and tedious. Graphics and animation are similarly crude and uninspiring. And the sound effects, after the introductory tunes have finished, are extremely sparse and weak. Controlling Elvira is extremely frustrating. The screen scrolls keeping her in the dead centre, and hiding any off-screen platforms she might be able to jump onto next. This results in having to undergo a constant process of trial and error involving very little skill, reflex or thought.

Furthermore, controlling our heroine can prove awkward - using diagonal movements for crucial moves, and having to use the keyboard for selecting and casting spells.

And to round things off nicely, there's a completely disruptive multi-load system. Even the disk version has to be turned over and reloaded at the start of every game... 'Heavy Metal Heaven' help cassette users!!!

Despite what you might have read elsewhere, this is an extremely dull game and would be severely embarrassed by any comparison with real '90s games like Turrican II.

Wow, a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity to get hold of Elvira (ahem!), to watch her well-proportioned body (ha!) do whatever you tell her. But there's very little enjoyment available here. Elvira is sadly represented by an almost unrecognisable sprite and background graphics are little better.

The gameplay involves a lot of walking about, which soon gets boring, and frustrating when you mis-step.

When you do find the occasional enemy Elvira is lethargic, firing her current weapon very slowly, and as enemies need two or three shots before they die, she can't avoid getting hit and losing power!

Sadly, this game will provide little enjoyment to anyone interested in Elvira or decent arcade-adventure games.

Presentation 60%
Very pretty intro screens and tunes. Free poster of Elvira to drool over as you play. Badly designed multi-load though.

Graphics 45%
Crude old-fashioned visuals with a disappointing Elvira, and very few surprises.

Sound 35%
Uninspiring effects and no music during game.

Hookability 35%
Painfully slow, uneventful and frustrating.

Lastability 48%
A large game area over the various levels... but who cares?

Overall 40%
An overpriced copy of an age-old style, with age-old graphics and sound... but breaking new frontiers in boredom.