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It has been described as "a completely new form of computer entertainment", "a union of computer game, film, book *and* LP record", "the first full length computer movie, fully synchronised to a stereo soundtrack"... These, and a host of other bizarre and unrealistic claims, heralded the release of Deus Ex Machina four years ago.

Then came the depressing reality of the Spectrum game. Its founder's dream - that of the equally bizarre Mel Croucher, foundered. The game was launched by Automata (of Pimania 'fame') into a sea of apathy.

The "entertainment" involved playing computer games while listening to a soundtrack on cassette. The result was supposed to be a new type of experience as you joined Ian Dury, Jon Pertwee and Frankie Howerd in a story set in 1994 and a frightening world of the Defect Police.

The game involves you using your computer cursor to animate cells in the cell producer, feed the speck of life knowledge in the memory bank, warm sluggish eggs in the belle bank, guide the life force to the egg in the beau bank, keep the cocoon throbbing in the incubator, all before controlling your own birth! Then you must deflect the psychic probes of the Defect Police in the interrogation tank before losing your innocence to the lover and getting your performance judged as a percentage.

In part two you gain power after having survived the pitfalls of the life as a soldier. Now you can stamp on 'words of corruption' and 'leap over nobler sentiments' (sleeve notes!). Finally, you must prolong your life as long as possible by dispersing blood clots and propping up your failing heartbeat. Eventually you die, but "you can begin your little life all over again"!

These pathetic images in this game are accompanied by two sides of audio gibberish that try to mask the game's appalling gameplay.

This new 'experience', now re-released under CRL's weirdo Nu Wave label, is surely now on its last legs. It's old, dull, expensive, boring, pretentious crud and has now joined all the other duffers that have been bunged out on the poor old MSX.

Some games are so bad that they're almost collector's items. This one's just bad.