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"Life in the fast lane can be crazy". That's what it says on the nice glossy box. And the nice glossy poster. And on the tape. And in the manual, in English, French, German, and Italian...

Turns out it's a quote from this guy called "Terror of the Tarmac". The question is, does this apply to Crazy Cars III?

Let's start from the beginning. On the back of the box, there are loads of screenshots of various courses, cities, tunnels, chasms, deserts, etc. Though it should be held in mind at all times that these shots bear no relation whatsoever to the CPC version of this game.

Though passable, you won't be jumping out of your seat in joy at this one. The sonics leave a bit to be desired, and the graphics are the same throughout the game.

And another thing... when racing different people, it would be nice if they didn't have identical cars. And why, when you prang another car, can you hear this radio interference type noise? We dream of more than one variety of tree. A tear forms in the eye when we remember driving at 300km/h [Are you sure about all this? - Ed] toward a city and I actually got there. And have you ever noticed how the roads on these games are always stripey? How else could you tell that you're moving? [Oh, you cynical old programmer, you! - Ed]

Gameplay wise, this is a standard racing game with a little more besides. You have lots of nice little accessories to save up for, though these are nothing like the manual describes! Aargh! Don't you just hate that? OK. Throw the manual away. It's not going to help you.

Extra features to drag this above your average game include super tyres (whatever they are), radar detectors (to help avoid the fuzz), speed-ups (go on, have a guess), snow tyres (with some mean spikes), super brakes (for flattening your nose on a windscreen), a roadster (aerodynamic road holding of course), night vision goggles, radar jammers, nitrous oxide booster, and a turbo boost (apparently your adrenalin will pump for a stomach-churning 10 seconds).

As well as your own car's features, there is a heavy money element involved, as it costs money to enter a race, to repair your car, to rise through the divisions, scratch your nose, etc. This does tend to add a touch more realism to the game, as instead of just being dropped onto a race course, you do get to go for the courses you want (and scream in frustration as you realise you can't afford to enter them).

There's also a nice betting system in which you get forced into giving all your money away knowing full well that you are going to lose hideously anyway. When you've finished betting, somebody says "Let's go!" [Probably in an American accent - gah! - Ed] and you then start racing.

The cops, as mentioned earlier, don't exactly like people topping 300km/h on public roads on a Saturday night, and therefore try their hardest to stop you. Their methods of detection are threefold. They use speed traps, highway patrols and radar cameras. There are two things you can do when being nobbled. You can either stop and forfeit the race, or have a police car desperately trying to destroy your car before you cross the line (by smashing into you until you blow up).

On top of the other features, there are also different opponents who you will end up racing with at some point or other, each with different tactics, and character traits. It helps if you learn their tricks - even if you don't avoid them, you can still use them on other people.

At first glance, Crazy Cars III seems to be patched together well, although the collision detection is quite poor (try driving through a bush sometime). The game does move very smoothly, and seems a definite improvement over previous versions.

So how does this game measure up? It's simple. The betting sequences, race prices, division rises, and cash crises do not a good game make. It either grabs you by the short and curlies or it doesn't. You either go back to play it time and time again or you don't [Where's this man's contract? - Ed].

Admittedly, it does hold up as a standard race game, but that's about all, and that format is more than a little tired these days. However, being smooth and playable, it could find a nice little niche in your collection as a damned good racing game - but don't expect anything more.

Racing would be no fun without some nice rough competitors and believe me, these are the roughest you'll find...

1. Max Steel, or 'Mad Max' (eek) is the meanest racer on the track. Legend has it he has a habit of bumping other racers off!
2. Richard 'Haircut' Cooper is second hardest. Nick-named 'The Road Runner', he allegedly knows all the races by heart.
3. 'Tricky Frankie' alias Frank Torrino is the shifty one. He'll either trick you into crashing, or try to sell you a dodgy car radio.
4. 'Ferocious Felicia' certainly lives up to her name. She's won 73 races, and probably killed an equal number of racers.
5. No, not Uncle Fester, it's Joe Spencer, the biggest cheat around. You won't see him much; he's always taking short-cuts.
6. Sal Capone (that rings a bell) has a strange affinity with the police, as they always seem to arrest his opponents...
7. 'Hairy' Mary Wilbur isn't much of a problem. If you can even find the joystick, she'll be choking on your dust.
8. If you're wondering why this guy doesn't look quite as hard as the rest it's because he's you. Nice shades, though...

Graphics 79%
Nice to start with, but a little repetitive, with absolutely no change from course to course.

Sonics 39%
These aren't all that effective, and end up detracting from the game quite a lot.

Grab Factor 66%
When you start, Crazy Cars III does seem quite fun, with mastery of driving skills keeping you playing.

Staying Power 50%
But after you realise that's all there is to it, you'll probably play for about five more minutes.

Overall 67%
Frankly, despite initial appearances, Crazy Cars III is no more than a distinctly average race game.