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Life for the Teque Software crew would be a bowl of cherries were it not for a cantankerous car park attendant who gives them constant hassle. This rather unsavoury character plays such a fundamental role in the lives of the coding chaps that they have decided to base the plot of a platform game on his crazy car parking antics. And so Chubby Gristle was born...

As his name suggests, Chubby has a bit of a weight problem, but is he worried about heart disease or any of those other terminal illnesses which strike down fat people in their millions every year? No. In fact Chubby loves his food, and he lives only for nightly fry-ups as cooked by Mrs Gristle. Such culinary delights are by no means guaranteed, though, so Chubby likes to get in as much eating as possible during the day time. In between telling people where they can stick their cars and being generally grumpy, Mr G likes to leap about his platform-filled neighbourhood, on the look-out for all kinds of comestibles which he can use to occupy his enzymes.

In his search for lunch, Chubby can walk, leap and climb about each flick-screen location. These include a drain, Sainsbelly's Supermarket and even the Pose and Frown pub.

Obviously, if you've ever been in a car park, a supermarket or a pub, you know what to expect - precarious platforms connected by ropes, ladders and constantly moving lifts and conveyor belts, and the space between them occupied by missiles, crazed women, vandals, bats, car fans and other shapeless blobs. Chubby must negotiate these to gain grub, and hence achieve his ultimate goal to be quite staggeringly heavy. As Chubby picks up flashing food, a figure on the tonometer at the bottom of the screen shows how close he is to ultimate fatness, the rewards for which are the love of a good woman (or at least, his wife!), and consequently, lots of little Gristles.

Failing in his duty to his stomach means Chubby takes a long trip to a health farm, where rumour has it that remedial measures are best described as 'Kill or Cure'!

From the sickeningly twee music to the debased high-resolution Spectrum graphics, Chubby Gristle is terrible. His fat bouncing belly is only momentarily amusing and the game loses its hold on you fractionally earlier. Not only is it derivative of an overabused format, it doesn't even use it to any great potential.

The transparent monochrome sprites, multiple bugs (watch out for the wraparound cars) and illogical, ungenerous collision detection make the game's humour self-defeating. The 21 screens just aren't worth the effort, unless you're into third-rate, frustrating software. I can't see this appealing to any Commodore owner, not in 1988 and certainly not at this over-inflated price...

Ah, this takes me back to the days of Spectrum Jet Set Willy, when I knew no better. Indeed, Chubby Gristle has a very Spectrum-ish air about it, mainly due to the tiny, monochrome sprites and the small screen format. These sprites aren't well drawn at all, and the chunky backdrops of character blocks don't push back the frontiers either. Aesthetic problems don't end there though, because throughout the game the C64's sound chip is occupied in the production of one of the most mindless tunes I've ever heard. Gameplay is almost equally weak, and presents little in the way of problem solving, beyond working out when to time a jump to avoid two bats.

At a budget price, I would be very dubious about recommending Chubby Gristle. For ten quid, I have no doubt about my verdict: don't buy it.

Presentation 20%
Keyboard or joystick options - but that's it.

Graphics 22%
Compressed screen coupled with poorly designed sprites and backdrops lend the game a very Spectrum-esque air.

Sound 19%
A sickeningly twee tune plays constantly, and there are no sound FX to relieve the agony.

Hookability 29%
The general ugliness and tedious gameplay leave initial interest at a low level...

Lastability 24%
...and interest quickly sinks below that level.

Overall 26%
One of the worst attempts at a platform game we've seen for some time.