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Carpet Capers is a game about deranged carpet fitters. Or so says the inlay card.

Whether this means that the carpets are deranged or the fitters themselves, I'm not entirely sure. And from the game itself, it's quite hard to tell. After the weird message at the start of the program, the loading screen appears.

This contains the main title and also a picture of a carpet. I assume it's meant to be a carpet only from the name of the game. In fact, it looks more like a cross between a map of the River Thames and the top of an electric shaver.

And now we get to the bit which I've been putting off for so long - the game itself. Frankly it's not up to much. The idea is that you're supposed to be laying carpets in the Manor. But it appears that the Lord has a bad memory, for these are two other teams there, all willing to do the work. And they don't particularly want you around.

You have to enter nine rooms in turn. These seem to have names very reminiscent of games like Manic Miner and Jet Set Willy. In each, you must collect a box of tacks, a hammer and a pair of cutters to help you do your job. Then you travel around the screen laying your white carpet. You are competing against the layers of blue and red carpets.

You get paid for each square of carpet laid and each room has a target. When you reach the target for a room, you can then progress to the next. To do this, you must also pick up a key. Then it's just a matter of finding the right door. There are three, usually, so a little experimenting soon pays off.

The graphics here aren't really up to much. The men are all made from only a single character and the carpet is simply blocks of colour.

Control is via a joystick or the keyboard. This is not a game which, if I had bought, I would play very often. If at all.