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Down at Fag End, Bimbo is talking to Grandalf. They are seeking a lemming-like individual for a suicide mission. Guess who walks in?

Yes, it's you - fresh from a party of belching boggits. "Catch", remarks Bimbo, and throws you a small gold ring-like object. With astonishing lack of deftness, you catch it.

Perhaps the single most famous computer-graphics picture in the world is that of a comfortable tunnel-like room with a green door, and this is where you now find yourself. The room is complete with green door and purple carpet - the only thing that's missing is a chest.

Thus you learn your quest as Fordo Faggins, a feeble yet far boggit, favourite nephew of Bimbo, and cowardly star of Bored Of The Rings.

You must take the ring to the black Land of Dormor, and destroy it! But first you must go to Rivendull and Smelrong, and in the company of your friends Spam, Pimply and Murky.

So you head east and before long come across Farmer Faggot's Triffied Farm, where many barrels of ale are stacked against a wall. "Drink Ale" of course! "Fordo drank the ale, hiccupped twice, threw up all over the place, fell over and felt much better." So Fordo heads off to the River Brandname, whose source is the Great Burst Water Pipe and which is crossed by what looks remarkably like the Clifton suspension bridge. Go on, work it out!

Bored Of The Rings is a must for Hobbit-haters, and lovers of parody. If has large amounts of text in a Gothic character set which will, at the very least, bring a smile to your face and occasional pictures which only display the first time you enter a location, or type LOOK.

Perhaps the most surprising thing is that it was written with The Quill and Illustrator. I say surprising because it does not have the look of a typical Quilled adventure - but then it certainly isn't a run-of-the-mill adventure anyway.

It comes in three parts on cassette or microdrive and each part must be completed before proceeding to the next. There are many locations to explore and, although I nowhere near visited them all, the map provided in the instruction book shows such places as Berkwood and Bewilderland.

There's even the Land of the Cruel Reviewers. Perhaps that's where I should head - for one of the replies shows the game has no class. Yes, I spoilt it all by typing HELP!

Bored Of The Rings is from Delta 4 for 48K Spectrum, cassette version at £5.95, microdrive version at £8.95.