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Maybe playing this game's not such a good idea. After all, who wants to be a small, squidgy jelly bean? Except Phil of course, who hasn't got far to go anyway (apart from the 'small' bit).

Anyway, our small rotund hero is out to rescue his children from three time zones (an Egyptian Pyramid, Medieval Castle and Victorian Haunted House). Y'see, the Mini-Bods were caught up in a freak time eddy, seemingly created especially for this game. I don't know, if the programmers can't come up with an original plotline, they have to rely on the old faves.

But how does Bod get from one time-zone to another? Well, it appears that a certain friendly Time Lord has lent him his TARDIS - Time And Relative Dimensions In Space [Bleedin' show-off - Ed]. So with a deep-throated growl resembling Phil's stomach at lunchtime, the TARDIS lands at the first location in ancient Egypt...

Bod Squad is about as easy as teaching your granny to yodel in a vat of custard. A series of intricate (and $£@! annoying) puzzles have to be solved, and a range of enemy creatures must be evaded or terminated with 'Bod Bombs'. But fear not, brave reader, 'coz Bod ain't as helpless (or stupid) as he looks. And he *does* look pretty stupid!

As well as waddling along, Bod can also jump, squash (duck, in other words), swim and, under certain circumstances, fly. Bod also carries an inexhaustible supply of the aforementioned Bod-bombs to sling around: these are handy against sentient antagonists, but most of his problems are caused by inanimate objects. Worst of these are the spikes, fire-spitting heads and 'bear trap'-style obstacles that perforate Bod's botty without pity.

If Bod is bumped off, he loses one of his three lives. Similarly, if time runs out (extra time potions are scattered around) before he finds his children, Bod loses remaining lives in exchange for a mere ten seconds each. Not a lot of help.

As Bod searches through the pyramid, he comes across various extra features that can either help or hinder him. These include spinning blocks, potions, springs, teleports (on later levels) and hidden platforms. Most important are the many switches which destroy obstructing walls when flicked.

Once Bod gives his errant offspring he has to make his tortuous way back to the TARDIS and the next level. Can you crack the crystal maze... sorry, Egyptian pyramid? You'll either do it all your hair out trying. Puzzle games have a well-earned reputation for being swines to complete, and this one falls firmly into that category. I reckon that a measly three lives, and such a strict time limit, will prevent the vast majority of gamers from completing even the *first* level.

Bod Squad is mildly frustrating, especially when you jump and bounce back off a block onto a spike. And I feel that some of the puzzles may be a bit too tough for younger players - I barely managed to solve some of them (any salty comments will earn a slap round the nut). The fact that there's no quit option is a real pain too - it's very easy to block yourself into inescapable corners, and to have to sit around until the timer reaches zero before you can have another go is unforgivable.

Graphically, though, the game is superb; Bod is a cute little critter while the other sprites are bright and lively (especially when after Bod's ass) So buy Bod Squad now if you want to look like Captain Picard in one easy lesson - just don't expect to reach the "Haunted House" before Christmas... 1997!

With just a *little* more thought this could have been a lot better. Boasting graphics and puzzles on a par with Rick Dangerous, it's disappointing that the programmers have made such a hash of things. The problem is, it's just too piggin' difficult! So what, exactly, makes it so tricky? BOD, that's what. Our rotund rescuer may look like a million dollars (all green and wrinkled!) but he displays all the manoeuvrability of a particularly clumsy water buffalo - although he's not quite as bad as Corky after a few pints of Fuddles...

Wobble and bounce around the huge pyramid, flicking switches and avoiding traps as you go, but rebound off the wrong wall and wallop! You've had it. This would be tolerable if it didn't happen with such monotonous regularity, but when you get creamed time and again through little fault of your own, frustration soon sets in. In fact, I doubt very much whether the game is in fact completable without cheating.

If only the main sprite offered as much control as Rick Dangerous this would be a Sizzler for sure. But as it stands it doesn't quite cut the custard. Hardly a Bodge Squad, but not quite a Sizzler either. And that spelling mistake on the title screen... ouch!

Presentation 80%
Brill loading sequence with a certain police box.

Graphics 88%
Colourful sprites rampage round the screen.

Sound 74%
Decent loading and title tune, poor effects.

Hookability 79%
A bit tough to get into, with inescapable pits.

Lastability 84%
It gets easier when you know the level layout.

Overall 81%