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Anybody feeling a little put out because of the recent lack of snow? Well, fret no longer because, thanks to those chilly chappies at Codemasters, you can do a Fergie and slope off on the Piste whenever you wish, in the guise of Advanced Ski Simulator.

Viewed in three dimensions, this gem gives you the chance to compete against either the computer or a friend in a froen frenzy down one of seven snow-lined ski slopes. Its release has been timed for the start of the new ski season, so don your thick, tastelessly coloured polar jacket, jump on the ski-lift and wipe-out...

Heard the one about the latest Codemasters Gold Amiga game? Someone bought it! Ha ha ha ha!!! Seriously though, Advanced Ski Simulator is an exceptionally poor piece of software made out as the best thing since Mother's Pride loaves by the completely OTT self-congratulation on the box.

I mean, £19.99 for what is basically a souped-up 8-bit budget game with a bit of sampled sound - come off it, guys! Only think about purchasing Advanced Ski Simulator if you're really into verbal insults.

After reading the prose on the box, I thought to myself, "Hey! This sounds really good!" Then I loaded it up. What a disaster! Apart from the fairly good graphics, which still aren't a patch on most games, there's absolutely no difference between this and the £2.99 8-bit budget version.

The digitised sounds are crackly, and don't add to the feel of the game at all; even worse is the fact that the skier disappears off the screen if he gets too far behind, making it almost impossible to get back on because of all the different jumps.

I've saved my biggest gripe with Advanced Ski Simulator till last: the price. Twenty quid for software of this quality is daylight robbery!

Presentation 57%
Sickeningly self-congratulatory packaging. Awkward controls, seven different courses. Two player option.

Graphics 35%
Not surprisingly, mostly white. Disjointed figures float around while the scrolling carries on without them.

Sound 39%
Pathetic, crackly digitised effects.

Hookability 40%
May appeal if you were planning on going to the Alps this year.

Lastability 30%
Go anyway.

Overall 37%
Budget software with a high price tag.