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There are pyramids in the Sahara that are full of traps for the would-be ignorant plunderer. There are also games that are steeped in culture that are full of traps for the would-be ignorant reviewer. I have the feeling that Abu Sinver Propagation may well be one of those games that I simply have not "got" (i.e. understood) because I'm English, not Spanish. And in case you're already puzzled by why I'm opening this review this way, allow me to explain...

There is a game, not this one, called Abu Simbel Profanation. This game was released by Dinamic Software, only in Spain, and it was owned by tens of thousands of Spanish Spectrum owners. In Spain, this game is as famous as the Spectrum itself. Most games doing the rounds in Spain in the early Eighties were pirated British jobs but Simbel was a genuine Spanish one, with Spanish cover art and Spanish on-screen language.

It was a colourful platform game and, in it, you played Mr. Johny Jones (probably a distant relation of Indiana Jones, who was extremely popular at the time too!) and had to plunder an Egyptian tomb. It was, and is, one of the most infuriating games known to man, demanding pixel-perfect accuracy and finely honed reactions. To make any sort of progress you have to almost memorise the route from every single screen and follow it zealously, with no margin for error. If you meet a retro-gaming Spaniard at a retro game convention, load it up and see how well he does. He'll likely get a lot further than you can... and he'll play the game with an unmistakeable sense of nostalgia.

Having acquainted ourselves with that background, therefore, let's look at Abu Sinver Propagation, the latest physical release for the Spectrum from Matra Computer Animations. "It's impossible to leave Abu Simbel's lost temple alive," state its (Spanish only) instructions. Note that that's Simbel (the old game), not Sinver (the new one). "But who cares? Because Johny Jones is somewhere else, a lost pyramid in the Sahara and now he must find the exit."

Starting to cotton on yet? Abu Sinver Propagation is one of those "homage-spin-off-themed" games that hangs on to the shirt-tails of an already successful one. The difference is that we Brits don't really know the original. So, as a Brit who doesn't know the original, its nuances and similarities may well be lost on me. Of course, that doesn't mean I can't review it, it's just a proviso. I make it just in case the following review has somehow missed something superb that's staring the average Spaniard in the face.

So, here we go. Firstly, Sinver is, very surprisingly, not a platform game at all. It's an isometric affair, created with Incentive's 3D Game Maker. You spin around and walk in one of four diagonal directions in "Ultimate" style, through interconnected monochrome rooms, jumping over spikes and onto platforms. Most of the rooms are empty and the sole task seems to be to cross them without losing a life. You can wander back the way you came if you wish but there's only one route, so you must press ever-onward.

Secondly, Johny Jones, I kid you not, looks like an arse with legs.

Thirdly, the challenges border on the ludicrous. Perhaps this is a nod to the original but, for example, in the second room you reach you must jump onto a box, make your way to its edge and then leap over a row of spikes. Unfortunately, if you touch the box with any part of your body other than your feet, it disappears, leaving you to face an impossible jump. It took me roughly 30 attempts at easing myself to the very edge of the box to complete the jump without suffering an impromptu impaling. And my reward? In the next room, more of the same: more spikes, more boxes... And, for me at least, more than enough boredom.

And, well, there's not really a lot more to say. The game is merely a 3D Game Maker job, and if you've ever used that utility, you'll know that it's not difficult to make an isometric platformer using it. The music, which plays on interrupt throughout, is good but not exceptional. Take away the Abu Simbel connection and this game brings absolutely nothing new to the table. It's exactly like AGD's Land Of Mire Mare, pimping off a famous "name" in the Spectrum world to ensure more people will look at it than would otherwise. Like that game, it's also been given a unjustified physical release and I equally wouldn't recommend you raid your Paypal account to secure a copy of it, no matter how tempting the cover art.

That's not just because releasing games that are "tenuously connected (by the author himself) to beloved classics" is tremendously unsporting... It's also because this game is hard and samey to boot. And if I just don't understand the attraction for cultural reasons, well, that's fine. But I would hazard a guess that you, the person reading this, share my ignorance. So, unless you're someone who just loves any 3D style isometric format game, my advice is to steer well clear of this.