I Hate The Internet =================== Hate ---- The essential ZX Spectrum prequel to the novel by Jarett Kobek Feel the hate surging through your veins as you cruise the seedy side of town in a google-sponsored death bus. Wear your headband with pride and conduct a demented, directionless search of Facebook HQ in a desperate hunt for its users' privacy. As Coffee Joe, keep Backbeat, Davey and Cocaine Annie from hoarding the free smartphones. Fight them for dominance of the charity cellphone market. Fly through space as the "altered enough so as to not be actionable" logo of a well known tech company, converting all other systems in its path into mindless clones. Also included with this cassette is an exclusive download link to a spoken word recording by Jarett Kobek, recorded especially for Bumfun. In the recording, Jarett reads a section of his book, "I Hate The Internet". Instructions ------------ I Hate The Internet offers four distinct "games" for you to experience. Upon loadng, the title screen will inform you of the controls. There will also be a key to press in order to obtain new employment. If, at any time, you grow tired of your assigned in-game task, simply press this key to be taken to the next "game". Google Killbus -------------- The year is 2013! You are Google CEO Larry Page! In your attempts to beat grim death, you emulate the possibly-mythical tactics of Countess Bathory and harvest the blood of the poor. Commandeering one of your company's private buses, you cruise through the streets of San Francisco in search of a hissing bloodfeast. Your only goal is ultimate massacre through maximum carnage! Crush the beggars! Destroy all filthy protestions! Stomp the Hoi Polloi! Make an end to love and peace! The Inmost Dens Of Facebook --------------------------- It is rumoured that, within the bowels of Facebook's Menlo park campus, hidden deep in the subbasements, one can find the privacy of the company's userbase. Very rarely seen, and even more rarely considered, this secret commodity must be *somewhere*...! You are a nameless, social, radical whose system of belief is unworkable under capitalism! Wearing your ridiculous headband, you have compromised the inmost dens. Will you discover the privacy of billions? Can you avoid the Project Manager? Twitter Caring Hearts Gala -------------------------- You are Coffee Joe, a homeless resident of the Tenderloin! Word has arrived through the "grapevine network of the street" that Twitter is hosting a caring hearts gala. It's the employees' plan to toss smartphones upon the poor, showering the destitute with riches from the technocratic elite. Collect as many phones as possible. Each iPhone will earn you several nights of free meals! But watch out: The largess of twitter is tempered by otherpeople who've heard the news via the "grapevine network of the street". Keep Cocaine Annie and Backbeat Davey from hoarding the generosity of your lords and masters. Steve Jobs Commands From Hell ----------------------------- You are the slightly off model, and thus legally unactionable logo oof a major international corporation. The ghost of Steve Jobs commands you to fly through space and use your laser to transform crude 8-bit icons into ipds! Each iPad is money in the bank! But beware: as the Beatles warned back in 1960, the taxman lurketh around every corner and he's built a giant blue $-shaped ship to chase you through the airless vacuum of space! The taxman wants to suck the marrow of free enterprise! The taxman's dreams of destroying the open market of ideas! Avoid the taxman's every grotesque caress! Loading -------- On the 48K Spectrum machnes type LOAD"" (ENTER) On the 128K Spectrum machine use the Tape Loading option