Kevin, Julia Briefs precious toddler, followed her into the Ante-Natal
Clinic on the "Zikov Kiddie-Leash" that she had recently invested in.
Not only would it keep him at arms length, but it would stop him
from straying. Julia was settling her account from two years prior to
that date. Recently she had - for a second time - left her husband
Pete, since he had returned to his incorrigible habits. She was,
therefore, forced to work seven part-time jobs in order to repay her
debt. She was not particularly devoted to Pete by that stage.
"I have a cheque for £2,500 here to pay for ante-natal fees from 1994,"
Julia told Nurse Aphrodite, now employed by Kissing Private Health.
"Eh?" said the nurse. "Bit late, ain't it, Mrs. Grief?" Julia pointed out
that her surname was Brief and Aphrodite continued, "Okay, that's
fair 'nuff, but be a bit quicker next time."
"Sorry, Aph. I only had two years of scrimping and saving," she told
her amnesiac friend who seemed to have not only forgotten how to zip
up her uniform (it was the wrong way round too), but also Julia.
While Julia was pondering her friend's sorry state, her cheeky lad had
gnawed through the leash. "That's what Calcium Supplements does
to kids teeth," remarked the bouncer who stood at the door. "There's
no substitute for good old breast milk." Julia tended to agree, but by
the time that she realised exactly what the heck the bouncer had been
talking about, her son had rushed past the bouncer, making a
raspberry sound on his way. Julia ground her teeth as she saw Kevin
disappear out the door with the red "neverend" lollipop that she had
given him to shut his gob. Nothing for it but to find him!
Julia had known from the very first moment she had laid eyes on
Kevin (in the Maternity Ward of Kissing General Hospital in the
Summer of 1994) that he would doubtlessly give her no end of...
This game - a Brief Tale - is a sequel to
For Pete's Sake and Labour
Pains and, though there is no need to have played the previous games
beforehand, it may actually help. Toddler
Trouble consists of two
parts, the second of which is accessed by a password provided at the
end of the first.
Normal adventuring commands apply to this game,
but if you are in any doubt VOCAB and
INFO will provide you with
further information. You will benefit immensely from conversing with
the various characters you meet throughout the game and this can be
facilitated by typing the character's name followed by the query or
command; eg. APHRODITE TELL ME ABOUT THE BOUNCER.
The Daily Expatiator, 31st October 1996
by Blair Underwear, Legal Correspondent.
The latest in a long series of shocks to
strike our cosy little town is the news that the local antenatal clinic, run by Mr. Joe
McElpful, has been charging exorbitant rates for its services
unbeknown to the mothers that have enrolled there. Ms. Susan
Brief, the editor of this famed newspaper, is among one of the
unsuspecting women who have fallen victim to McElpful's
scheme. Nurse Aphrodite Turnip, an employee of the clinic,
told the Expatiator that, "Such a notion is balderdash. Mr.
McElpful is a very respectable man and he would never do such
a thing." We shall leave that up to you, as the reader, to decide.
In legal terms, it is unfortunate that the mothers who have been
"taken for a ride" - the words of Mrs. N. Mansell - don't have a leg to stand on. This is
unfortunate as Mr. L. Lawley, the solicitor on behalf of the MAROM (Mothers Against Rip-Off Merchants) has explained, "They all signed contracts, but I can assure you that I will use all my resources to ensure that they are compensated. It would not be the first time that I have performed miracles." Mr. Lawley is renowned in The Jig and Thistle for drinking ten pints of Carlsberg in under an hour.
By Fred Brief
I recently chatted to Professor Aristotle Popodopolis of the University of Athens. He
explained to me that the world is round because that's the way it was created. My geography
teacher (who can't be named for legal reasons - Ed.) was so shocked that she "downed" a basin
of coffee and hasn't been seen since. I just thought I'd let you all know the truth. By the
way, I love you, Abigail, if you're out there!
By T. Turnip
In a shock announcement to the extraordinaire, Small Daniels
claims that, "I was recently offered a post doing all
magical tricks of the King.
While he plays his "guitar" and sings his melodious songs, I am
to perform various feats of magic. It is an honour to serve
under such a man. He's a living legend."
Mr. Daniels, who was recently promoted to the
hallowed rank of sorcerer, told our reporter that Elvis is now
living at Graceland Avenue, Upper Kissing. An
investigation is in progress.
"Ophelia's Ophidian Opera" has re-opened in
Upper Kissing. Everyone is welcome to visit
the wonderful snakes. It's perfectly safe. Free
stuffed python given to all kids.
By Dr. Jamie Catchpole
A chronicle of the mutiny which
occurred aboard the writer's great-great-
grandfather's ship - the Inferno - 142 years
ago has been unearthed. It is available for
public inspection at the Kissing Book Society.
By Dethby Poysin
Lady Matilda Hodgkins has opened a
new tea-room in our town. It is believed that it
will attract a great range of up-market
customers although ordinary, run-of-the-mill
townsfolk are most welcome. The Violator of
Vindaloo herself told us, "I plan to use my own
buns and rock-cakes to enhance the teas." We
will keep you informed -in the obituaries.
The following utilities are also available to allow you to edit the supplied screens of this game:
Report A Problem
We thank you from the bottom of our hearts if you report something wrong on our site. It's the only way we can fix any problems!
You are not currently logged in so your report will be anonymous.
Change the country to update it. Click outside of this pop-up to cancel.
Scan Of Selected Article
Are you sure you want to logout?
If you auction an item, it will no longer show in the regular shop section of the site.