"Aaaaahh, and, err, welcome to, ah, Indoor Sports and in an aah, packed program today we'll be taking a look at the aah, absolutely amazing, aah events from the Advanced stadium in Essex. And I believe we are errr, going over to um, Philip Trainer for some motor racing... oh, aha I beg your pardon, it's something called Air Hockey. Absolutely amazing..." Ccch.. .crackle...
"Thanks Dave. Well, you join us in a fairly uncrowded stadium here today. We're going to take a look at a reasonably new sport here today. Air Hockey is loosely based on the old game of shove ha'penny although it's much more dangerous. Here at Advance they play it on a fairly boring looking snooker-sized table, which vaguely resembles a football pitch with a circle in the middle and a goal at either end. Each player controls a kind of bat and the idea is to smash the puck-style object up the table and into the opponent's goal.
"It's nothing special to look at, but the players' bats and the puck move about so quickly it doesn't really matter. It's certainly hotting up here, David. Back to you in the studio...""Aaaaah, thank you Philip. And it's Darts next. Looks like, aaaaah, an amazingly similar game down at the Advance stadium to the traditional version. Let's take a look..."
(Pictures of a dart board and a dart beneath it which sways about a bit. Suddenly the dart steadies and some bars at the side of the picture begin to rise, along with a pair of figures in the right-hand bottom corner. The figures are degrees, indicating the angle at which the dart is about to be thrown. The shot switches to the back of a darts player who throws a dart which misses the board entirely.)
"Ah, well, he, aha seems to be having some problems with judging just how hard to throw the dart.
"Oh. and we've just got time to go back to, ahh, Philip for the amazing Ping Pong..."
"Yes indeed. Here we are again though this time it's Ping Pong. There were some interesting development earlier in the afternoon when one of the players found an apparent blind spot and by continually putting the ball into the same spot on the table, was able to defeat the opponent with no opposition. Not entirely fair.
"You actually missed the Bowling that took place earlier. It was pretty exciting in fact. Many people find themselves sprawling in the gutter with their balls missing every pin in sight. And... I think that's just about all we've got time for so it's goodbye from the Essex and back to David in the studio for a round-up of the events..."
"Aaahhhh. Yes. Yes indeed. Absolutely amazing then, these, ah, events today. What an amazing season it looks like being for Advance. They've come up with another aah, absolutely amazing program. A very pleasant and, aah, nicely presented. Truly amazing"
Another sports simulation with many games that we've seen before (3 out of 4). Air Hockey is the main interest.