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The problem is Falcon Patrol II - the Spectrum conversion of that old Virgin C64 hit - now from Bug- Byte - requires a good deal of imagination on the players' part if it is to offer any entertainment at all.

It pretends to be about defending your own territory from an onslaught of unnamed-but-you-can-bet-they're-not-part-of-the-Free-West helicopters but the standard of programming is barely better than a type-in-yourself magazine listing.

Anyway, it's side-to-side scrolling with lots of killing and crummy graphics. It's all single character UDGs and attribute problems. At the start of the game, you are depicted on a small take-off pad amidst general scenes of destruction etc. Once your armaments are replenished and fuel tanks filled, it's off into the wide-blue yonder. As you fly around , enemy planes attack you.

The controls are not particularly responsive, and you have to continually battle to keep the plane off the ground.

Yes, I'm quite prepared to believe that this is all supremely accurate simulated gravity, but it's a terrific pain in the butt. Slow response and useless graphics are topped off by the horrific sound.

It's destined to be played for half-an-hour and put in a drawer for all eternity.

Bad sound, bad graphics and bad gameplay. Destined to be budget from birth. It's in no way redeemed by being cheap.