Mmm, there's no beating about the bush here, is there? But are we talking rough and tough, or totally duff? There's only one way to find out - we're going in!

Stupidly difficult vertical scroller with a teensy screen and confused graphics. Play for a bit, tear out your hair, hurl your Speccy through the window and run screaming into the night. Completely hopeless.

Shoot loads of people in this two-load blateroo! The real victim however is the playability, killed off by messy graphics and the kind of difficulty level that'd tax a fabulously co-ordinated octopus. It's a shame because, with eight levels, there's quite a lot to it!

Zip along the Amazon in your trusty speedboat avoiding crocs and logs, and pausing to fling lost scientists in the hold. A five minute wonder, except you'll only play it for three, and it's not that wonderful.

Prepare for army life in this four-part training game. There's the assault course (no waggling - you press fire to build up power, then time its release to scramble over obstacles), the firing range (viewed through the rifle 'scope), jeep training ("Out Run-ish" driving bit) and unarmed combat (get revenge on your nasty old Drill Sergeant). Graphics are sleek, but there's really not much to the game. Each level is either lemon-squeezy simple or very frustrating. Overall, as instantly forgettable as, um, thingie.

Utter crap I'm afraid, Spec-chums. Not even Arnie would touch 'em with a bargepole. (Or ein Uzi 9mm. Arnie) Quite.